Learnin'

Every day is a learnin' experience...as I'm sure you know. Most recently I've been struck by my own place in the universe, that tiny space between my soul and the cosmos, this cyberspace of my journey, my alone whisper of time, the in-out of my breath that mingles with an unseen mist, the perpetual aspect of my own energy...always returning exactly what I send forth.

Energy. My year has been focused on energy. In the pool where I swim daily, I can watch the resulting pattern on the ceiling made by the energy of the sun and people splashing and moving in the water. In the pool of my life, I can look back, way back now, and see how what I pushed out, truly did return.

There is something to be said about gratitude, however it's not exactly what I thought at first. I wondered how I could be grateful when the trials and tribulations in my life had been so very nasty, sad and scary. What could there possibly be to be grateful for, I wondered. I couldn't seem to substaniate time to spend being grateful for what seemed so insignificant in my giant mess of a life.

One day however I took up a habit in hopes it would lead me closer to wisdom. Every night, well almost every night, before I fall asleep I thank the Great Spirit and the Lord and the Universe, to cover all my bases, for whatever comes to mind. Sometimes it's people, friend and foe, sometimes it's to pray for little things like the bunnies on the university campus or the dolphins in the ocean.

I have come to find that there is a simple grace about it all. What is returning seems to be peace of mind and heart, the knowledge that I took some time, albeit very small in the big scheme of it all, to acknowledge something other than myself. I stood still and quiet long enough to observe and be thankful. It has made me feel alive and connected to a purpose being grateful for those things like fairness, reality, nature and such that truly make me who I am within. How else do I acknowledge my own spirit if I can't see any other?

My gratitude has softened me and is slowing me down so I have time to smell the flowers now and then. The world is beginning to look very different because I'm beginning to feel more a part of it all. Now when I try to comprehend the wee tiny spec of dust I am in the vastness of the universe, it further confirms my long-held belief that this world is simply an atom in someone else's coffee table. For me, it's as true as any other theory to date.

You see, I care not to be put inside a box built by someone else; religion, evolution, science...it's all very daunting. I prefer to acknowledge that that which I know not now, I will be lernin' when I cross over to yet another plain of mystery...

Relationship Mechanix

Humans are social which means we're predisposed to want to connect with others. By ourselves, life doesn't get that complicated, but as soon as you start adding relationships to the mix, the landscape changes exponentially...that's a big word for "becomes very complex the more friends you add."

That being said, we're usually looking for just one perfect relationship; someone to witness our passage through this life, someone to cuddle on cold winter nights, someone to love, honour and cherish. Friends are great, but when the lights go out or the plane takes off, it's important to have a partner you trust to hang on to. And herein lies the greatest of challenges in life. How does one find that "perfect relationship"? What are the ingredients, the pitfalls, the red flags or the telltale signs of a good or bad relationship? Do you know?

Well, I do. After many years and much trial, error and study, I made it my mission to understand the signs, and now I can share them with you. The very most important trait anyone wants in any relationship is to be valued. I know you can easily imagine what it is like to be in a relationship where you are "not" valued, where someone pushes and pulls, upsets and manipulates, cons and argues, belittles and devalues and makes you feel unsure of yourself...and so, I rest my case. And, both people need to value each other, as human beings, as imperfect, as man/woman, as someone who is at a certain place in their journey. To not be valued is the most common reason we begin to feel frustrated and eventually resentful. Very few, if any, return from resentment in a relatioship. Once resentment sets in, especially on a regular basis, it's over.

Allowing each other to be in their own life, just as they are, is a sure sign of two people who value each other. People who manipulate, coerce and otherwise force issues to get their own way are not people who value anyone. These people will eventually destroy either you or surely the relationshp. No amount of "miracle" from you will correct someone who hasn't learned how to value someone else.

"To be valued, and to value, is the foundation of every relationship...and everything
else is in response to this."

Good intentions can be confusing as well. Sometimes we "intend" on being respectful of others but we can easily miss the mark. The telltale sign that this is a bad thing is when we more often offend than make a simple mistake. In other words, someone who seems to have good intentions but more often than not misses the mark, is someone who has their own agenda and it has nothing to do with valuing anyone. When someone truly has "good intentions" they will show up in everything that person does or says. Those who only "talk" about good intentions, and always make mistakes, has another agenda altogether.

Having an agenda has more to do with feeding their need to power-over others in order to feel powerful in their own life. Caution: these people will often play victim when confronted on their "intentions". They will say things like, "but I would never want to hurt you," or "I can't believe you think I meant to hurt you." Follow your gut instincts - not the con. If they truly mean to "not hurt you" then they won't hurt you. The more they hurt you, the more they are telling on themselves that they will continue to hurt you.

Stay in touch...I have much more...