YouTopia - A New World

"After I finally broke away, my hope of a future that was better than the one I had just left behind became my insatiable focus. "

Surviving the physical abuse was a stroke of luck, and I don't usually have a lot of luck. I had a knife in my hand that fateful night, and made a miraculous decision. Nine abusers were enough. I was finally done. My past would become my lesson plan because I had finally made up my mind that I would not repeat the same mistakes again. I was firmly resolved to be on a new path, and I needed a way to pay particular attention to the rest of my journey so it never happened again. I needed to learn some things about me; how am I going to do it differently, why had my life become a safe haven for nine abusers, what had been my role, and how can the past reality help me today?

Speeding down the road away from him, I knew the next eleven years would be work. Today, I see how necessary it all was. I'm living proof that it's possible to come back from the brink where it seems that nothing is right in your world, to a place I call "my pink-cotton-candy-place of peace" where I feel safe and whole and connected. I'm probably more whole today than at any other time in my life. And I owe it all to a very old soul and mentor who I'll call Ra.

I can invite you to walk with me along that journey from insanity to Light only now because I didn't think I was getting anywhere for many years or that I had anything to share that would be of value. Today, looking back from here, I see a golden thread through it all, and "that" is what I wish to share with others who wish to or have embarked on a similar journey.

From being stalked, kidnapped, raped and psychologically abused to the ultimate financial con and the physical assault, I'd been through it all. And I thought I was a pretty smart woman. Maybe smart is the wrong word. But I certainly was resolved...and where did I get my resolve? Well, that's all part of the story.

I hope to bring inspiration, hope, safety, resources and a spiritual essence of oneself through this blog and leave the pain, suffering, sadness, fear and hopelessness for another day. I will have to refer to the depths of my experiences, but this blog will hopefully be about the inspiration more than the violence, about the healing more than the hurting and about the resolve more than the doubt. I have gained a host of very simple and powerful tools from Ra that have helped me immeasurably over my years of healing, and they are the "value" I now can share with you. I have tested each and every one, and I know of their value first hand.

Hop aboard, join in the story and inspire yourself to freedom upon my shoulders...I will hold you up until you are able to stand on your own.